Help for the Invisible Heroes and Heroines of Tragedy

Screeching tires, mangled metal, shouts, cries, screams for help, eerie silence, sirens . . . unimaginable injuries and mind-numbing deaths. Every single day, first responders are firsthand witnesses to scenes typically reserved for horror movies — only what they witness is real. It’s enough to cause even the most-hardened individuals to wake up in a cold, shaking sweat, if not screaming at the top of their lungs.

“Who are these first responders?” asks Chuck Kish, an endorsed chaplain through AG U.S. Missions’ Chaplaincy Ministries and pastor of Bethel Assembly of God in Carlisle, Pennsylvania. “They’re not who you might think — not EMS, fire and rescue, or even the police. The first people to respond to a critical incident, the first on the scene, are almost always bystanders.”

And following a recent debriefing session with professional first responders, Kish believes God provided him with a first-of-its-kind compassion response that not only can be used by first responders to help bystanders, but for churches to be a source of compassion and help to bystanders-turned-first-responders.

BYSTANDER COMPASSION

Kish notes that not everyone stops at the scene of an accident to help — the people who do are those oftentimes invisible heroes and heroines who, perhaps motivated by compassion or the value of life, throw their personal safety aside to render aid to others.

“Untrained and unknown, bystanders render as much aid as they can at an accident scene, and often witness things no one should see,” Kish says. “Then, perhaps after speaking with police, they get into their cars and just continue with their daily lives. They have no idea what’s about to hit them.”

Professional first responders have years of training to rely on, a built-in support group, and avenues to debrief — such as with counselors and chaplains — after experiencing a particularly unsettling accident scene, death, or tragedy. Bystanders typically have no idea that they just experienced a critical incident that may possibly negatively impact them the rest of their lives.

REAL LIFE

Fifteen-year-old Shaun Paul was ordering some fast food when he saw it happen. A van on two wheels crossed into oncoming traffic and collided head-on with a minivan. Paul raced over to the minivan.

“I looked in, and I still vividly recall every aspect . . . ,” he says, his eyes closing and face growing pale as he takes a deep breath. “The driver was dead (the description of his injuries too gruesome for print). Then I saw a baby in the backseat, motionless, unresponsive (later confirmed dead).”

Not having any medical skills, Paul ran over to the other van to see if he could help. The driver was lying across the floor of the van, speaking incoherently — later confirmed intoxicated. Paul was interviewed by the police and was a witness in the ensuing trial.

Nicole Mundorf, 46, and her husband, Jason, were on their way home from work when they witnessed a multi-vehicle accident two years ago — they stopped to help.

“We saw a car come across the highway ahead of two semis, apparently colliding with a pick-up truck and another vehicle,” Nicole Mundorf says. “We stopped, and the man in the pick-up truck appeared to be ok as he was getting out of his truck. We went to the second vehicle and a gentleman was bleeding, so I got him some napkins to help stop the bleeding.”

Then the couple went on to the third car — the driver appeared to be either unconscious or dead, and pinned by crushed metal.

“My husband broke out the back passenger window to provide access to a little girl as all the doors on the car had automatically locked. I went to the other side of the car — that window was already broken,” Mundorf says, pausing as she wipes tears from her eyes. “There was another little girl . . . I knew she was already dead because she looked like a broken doll folded over . . .”

As they left the vehicle, the Mundorfs saw a nurse performing CPR on the first little girl. They later learned that little girl also died. After directing the EMS team to the girl receiving CPR, the Mundorfs got back into their car and drove the rest of the way home.

Paul’s experience took place 30 years ago. He believes that the incident led him to start drinking and having anger issues that changed the direction of his life.

“I would have this reoccurring dream of that man carrying his dead daughter in his arms to me and asking me why I didn’t do more,” Paul says, his voice thickening. “I would wake up just screaming . . . and I also carried this deep anger toward the driver who was responsible.”

Mundorf, wiping the streaming tears from her eyes, says the incident she and her husband were a part of still weighs heavily upon her.

“I began crying in the car as we left,” she says. “I’ve had nightmares, trouble sleeping, anxiety, depression, and I just felt really useless and guilty because there was nothing I could do to help them . . . I don’t drink alcohol, but that day, I wanted to.”

THE CARD

Kish explains that about six weeks ago he was in a debriefing with numerous professional first responders due to the intensity of a tragic highway accident, where a man was caught inside his burning vehicle. A fire and rescue team made a valiant effort, but were unable to save him.

“I had to meet with several of those first responders individually as they couldn’t make the group meeting,” Kish says. “And one of the guys kept talking about the poor bystanders — as they were the ones — dozens of them — who were initially trying to get the man out of his car before any professional first responders could get to the scene.”

It was during this session that Kish says God gave him a vision of a card that could be handed out by police, EMS, and fire and rescue personnel to those who had just witnessed a critical incident — a “do and don’t” card of what to expect, what to do, what not to do, and where to get help.

As the idea grew, Kish thought about how his church, which has a chaplaincy training program in place, could create teams of volunteers from the church, working with police in traumatizing accidents, to come on scene and supply bystanders with the cards.

That idea grew into reality within several weeks. The card was created for the first responders in his area and it includes Kish’s email address.

“I can provide counseling or I have connections to Christian and secular counselors who also are Christians that I can refer them to,” Kish says. “For so many people who experience a critical incident like Shaun or Nicole did, the things they go through can make them feel like they’re going crazy, but the card helps normalize what they’ll be facing and offers an option for finding help.”

DIFFERENCE MAKER?

The Critical Incident Caring For You Card, which can be carried in a purse or in a pocket offers individuals vital guidance on front and back. The front of the card lists symptoms, such as grief, nightmares, feeling overwhelmed, seeing reoccurring images, and others. The back side offers do’s and don’ts, including: get enough rest, don’t drink alcohol or excessive caffeine, expect the incident to bother you, don’t withdraw from others, and four more.

The card concludes with the offer: We Care About You. Don’t Suffer in Silence. For Additional Help and Information, Email Co. 40 EMS Chaplain — [email protected].

But would the card help?

Both Paul and Mundorf agree that if someone had handed them Kish’s critical incident card following the tragic events they experienced, their lives would have been greatly impacted.

Paul says that at first, he didn’t have any “symptoms” listed on the card, but within a few weeks, suddenly things started to change — the nightmares began and the anger grew. Mundorf says many of the listed symptoms began right away for her, but she didn’t know where to turn to for help.

Kish adds that the card’s effectiveness isn’t limited to accidents, but any critical incident — house fire, suicide, street violence — where bystanders/neighbors witness trauma (including tow truck drivers).

“I believe there are thousands and thousands of people out there — and more being added to the list every day — who desperately need a card like this to give them hope and a place to turn,” Kish says. “I also believe that this story is going to spark conversations — people you never knew who experienced a critical incident, stepping forward and, possibly for the first time, talking about what they’ve gone through since then . . . and wouldn’t it be incredible if because of this card, people looked to God and the local church for help . . . taking a horrible tragedy and, in the end, people finding salvation and freedom in Him!”

For more information about acquiring the Critical Incident Caring For You Cards and how churches and professional first responders can use them to compassionately help those dealing with a traumatic experience, contact Kish at: [email protected].